I’m not ashamed to admit that I enjoy the new Jonas Brothers song, Sucker. I play it frequently on my drive to work as it really gets me pumped for the day. I think the kids these days would refer to it as “a bop”. A few days ago I was listening to this song on my drive to work, and didn’t have time to finish it before I left my car, so when I clocked out that day, I expected my car’s Bluetooth to pick up right where I left off, as it always does. I was prepared to bust out the last chorus as loud as I could and more than likely hit repeat on my steering wheel to complete my short drive home. As my car started up, I heard a familiar voice on my speakers, but it wasn’t carrying the peppy melody I have come to love. Instead it was a podcast by Steve Furtick, which is odd because I hadn’t been listening to this podcast that morning, but I decided to let it play, and I am so glad I did.
The verse for this podcast was 2nd Chronicles 20: 17, but for this blog I’m going to include verses 15 and 16 as well.
He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”
If you weren’t aware, my life is chaotic. Moving brought on many changes that I wasn’t prepared for, and Dementia brings challenges every day that seem impossible to handle.
Now, I don’t want anyone to think that taking care of my grandparents is a burden, because it is NOT; but this move has been a battle.
I battle loneliness.
I battle depression.
I battle sadness.
I battle guilt.
I battle anxiety.
I battle feeling inferior.
Most of all, I battle dementia.
Like the armies that marched towards Jehoshaphat unexpectedly, dementia marched on my family without warning. We were completely unprepared to go to battle, but the threat waged on. For some reason, dementia chose my family, we didn’t choose it, and as I listened to this podcast on my drive home, I realized, this isn’t my battle to win, it’s Gods.
I will not overcome my battles by my own strength, but God has promised to go before me and make a way. He has promised that if I stand firm in my faith and prepare my heart, mind, and soul for a battle, he will be with me.
He has promised to defeat my enemies and conquer my battles.
I pray that as I continue to face these things God will remind me of his promises.