I’ve had some people ask me if I am still going to post weight loss blogs during my Fat Girls Never Win series, and the answer is yes!
The holidays have come and gone, and with them came lots of extra calories and lots of lazy days, but this post isn’t going to be focused on that. Instead, I want to speak on self-worth, and why I have been so focused on taking better care of my body.
For most of my life I have struggled with feeling confident in who I am and how I look. I have dealt with bullying, even into my adult life that focuses on my body size and overall physical attractiveness, and instead of using this to overcome my eating issues, I have succumbed to the voices in my head that tell me I’m not good enough so another Twix bar won’t hurt anything. For years I have told myself that my value is held in my weight, which is tipping the scales the wrong direction, and I have been unable to find the motivation to change this.
Around the middle of 2018 I finally had a “come to Jesus” moment while doing my daily devotional. Now, I don’t typically talk too much about God and religion on this blog page, as it is more focused on my weight loss journey and mental health issues. I also recognize that this blog is home to many readers from all types of backgrounds, religious or otherwise, and I do not want to make any person feel less valued because they believe differently. But, I feel this is important, and can have a place in your life no matter where your faith stands.
1st Corinthians 6: 19-20 says:
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
In the few verses before these the writer (Paul?) is talking about sexual immorality and he goes on to mention honoring God with our bodies, but when reading this last year it stuck out to me in relation to my weight as well. I have been bought with a price far too high for me to just let my body go to waste. By overeating and not exercising, I have been taking for granted what I was given and not using it for the purpose it has been designed for. I’ll never forget reading those verses over and over that night, being overwhelmed with guilt for the years of misuse and mistreatment of my body.
I am blessed to have a body that functions well day in and day out, while others struggle with various health issues and disabilities. Since that day last year I have made every effort to be thankful for my body and its purpose for me. With this body I will achieve goals, love people, lead people, and do greater things than I could ever imagine. Our bodies are a treasure not meant to be taken advantage of.
Along the same lines, I have had to relearn where my value as a person is found. It isn’t found in my weight or size or attractiveness of my features, although society would like us to believe those things, and it certainly isn’t found in my ability to eat a healthy diet.
My value is found in my heart.
God has blessed me with this body so that I can continue his work of loving each and every person I meet, and in order to do that I need to take care it so it will last!
My journey to a healthy weight is nowhere close to over, in fact, most days it feels like it has just started. I have to work hard every day to find my value outside of my size and eating issues, and I also have to remind myself why I am here. I am called to love, and that includes loving myself, no matter how much the scale reads.
I hope this post reminds you just how valued and loved you truly are.