If you have been following my updates at all, then you know that I have been doing pretty well with my weight loss. In fact, I recently got food poisoning and dropped 4 pounds in a day and a half.
Following that sickness, I went on a trip with my youth group, and didn’t do as bad as I thought I would. I had some candy for the drive, some pretzels, and we ate out for lunch and dinner. Over all, not bad. I weighed when I got home and had gained two pounds, but figured a lot of that was water, following the great sickness of 18, so I wasn’t too worried.
However, now I am.
I have found it VERY hard to get back on the diet wagon since I’ve been back. Luckily, I have maintained my current weight, but I am disappointed that I haven’t dropped any weight since returning. Why is it so hard to get back on the plan I was eating before?
Well, I’m glad you asked.
Food has always been a HUGE part of my life. I eat when I’m happy, sad, lonely, bored, tired, really any emotion you can think of, I’ll find an excuse to eat. So, with that said it has taken a lot of willpower for me to shut down my eating habits and use food as fuel and not entertainment, and often times, that willpower is really hard to dredge up. Those precious Swedish Fish I had on the trip to Great Falls turned into a Kit Kat on the way back home, and an ice cream sandwich the next day. Once I start, I have a hard time stopping.
It is my addiction.
But goody for me, I have been writing these updates, and a surprisingly large amount of people have been reading them, and now I can have my parade of shame in front of you all. I’m not going to make excuses for my lack of dieting lately, I’m just going to apologize to myself and move on. I have spent most of my life beating myself up over mistakes that I make, and that should probably be its own separate post, but I won’t do that any longer. I started this weight loss journey as a form of self-love and that is what it will stay.
So, thanks for reading, and I will see you soon!