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1.2.16

I have no willpower. I never have. As a young girl I have countless memories of starting a project and never finishing it. I remember one Saturday when I was eight I wanted to clean out my closet. I had boxes full of toys that had not been touched in years and I decided I wanted to give them away to kids in need. Of course, I started out with great speed. I pulled everything out of my closet and arranged it all over the floor of my bedroom. But as the morning went on I grew increasingly bored of the task. After about an hour of working I decided to take a television break so I could catch the newest episode of Sponge bob Square Pants and several hours later, my room was still a mess. I remember walking into my room dreading the task ahead of me. As my bedtime approached I still had not finished cleaning up my room and sorting through the toys. I had started with great intentions of helping others and I couldn’t follow through with my plan. Eventually my mom helped me clean up the mess and sort the toys but I can remember feeling disappointed in myself that I had wasted so much of my day being distracted from my end goal. Needless to say, I have never kept a New Years resolution. I am sure I won’t keep one this year either but I am sure going to try. I have a few things I would like to do. I would like to write everyday, even if it’s just a little blurb about nothing. I would like to read my bible and pray more. I would like to learn more about my anxiety and how to control it as well as learn how to feel grateful for what I have and not greedy over what others have. I want to learn to love myself. To know how to be comfortable alone, in the quiet of my own company and to be at peace. Looking at this list it seems like a lot to conquer, especially for someone with no willpower but like every other year, I am going to try. So here is to a great 2016, whatever it may bring.

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