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Differences

It was 12:16 pm when she pulled her car into her favorite parking spot; middle lane, fourth spot in. It was under a big oak tree. The kind of tree a child would stare up at, wondering if it touched the sky. The branches were just close enough to climb up a good distance, and strong enough to hold. She liked it here. The tree provided shade on the sunny days and protected her car from the snow in the winter. The perfect spot. Exhaling, she turned her radio down and switched the ignition off. This class was not her favorite but she had to come. At least it was only once a week. She grabbed her book bag, got out of her car, and headed to the brick building. The girls in front of her were giggling to themselves, probably about the large man sitting on the side of the road talking to himself; college really wasn’t that different from high school. She felt out-of-place, insecure in a way that surprised her. Outside of school she was talkative and easy to get along with, but in a classroom she kept to herself, hoping no one would notice her or engage in a conversation. She told herself she was just too mature to interact with these people, above them perhaps, reality was, she was scared. Scared to be laughed at again, scared to not fit it, scared to give a wrong answer in front of the professor, and oddly enough, scared she would make a friend. She liked her quiet life filled with television, movies and books, she didn’t have room for anyone else. Getting attached to people is pointless, they always leave; at least that’s what she told herself when she was lonely. She took her seat in the class room and looked around. Two basketball players were sitting three tables in front of her, drinking Powerade and watching a new music video. To her left two girls sat staring at their phones, occasionally pointing out cute pictures to each other. The rest of the class talked amongst themselves, not realizing she had taken her seat. Just how she liked it. She wondered how many of them were as insecure as she was. How many of them put on a different facade to come to class. It amazed her really. In front of her family and few friends she was loud, funny and energetic; comfortable. Here, she was shy and quiet and did not want to stick out. Looking around the room she began to wonder if she wasn’t as alone as she thought. She would never find out however, because that would mean she had to make friends. The professor walked in, put her white binder on her desk, turned on the projector and asked for the answer to the first question on the homework. She knew the answer but she didn’t raise her hand. Her insecurities got the best of her.

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